So says Tom Paris in Part One of Star Trek: Voyager's Future's End on an unplanned visit to 1996 (see below), he continues "and we're getting to see it first hand" before telling his superior officer to take his shirt off. It's very odd.
1996 was the year that Deep Blue defeated Garry Kasparov at chess for the first time, the massacre in Dunblane took place, the element Copernicium was discovered and NASA announced that a meteorite thought to originate from Mars contained evidence of primitive life-forms.
1996 was also the year that I started my GCSE's.
These are a few of my favourite things from 1996:
Danny Boyle's adaptation of Irvine Welsh's novel has a real energy to it, the screenplay is inventive, the soundtrack is fantastic and the cast are uniformly brilliant. I really hope Boyle and Ewan McGregor can put their differences behind them and make Porno. Here's the trailer.
Jon Favreau and Doug Limon's tale of Hollywood also-rans features some excruciating telephone manner and a great performance from Heather Graham. Here's the trailer.
Wes Anderson and Owen Wilson's over earnest heist movie is a joy from start to finish. Here's the trailer.
P. T. Anderson's directorial debut is a great little film and Philip Baker Hall, John C. Reilly, Samuel L. Jackson and Phillip Seymour Hoffman are wonderful. Here's the trailer.
The eighth Star Trek movie has fantastic action sequences with the best horror bad guys. Patrick Stewart and Brent Spiner lead the charge in the best and most balanced of The Next Generation films that gives each member of the USS Enterprise-E crew a decent slice of the action. Alfre Woodard's Lily is a fantastic point of view character, James Cromwell's Cochrane is wonderfully endearing and Alice Krige's Borg Queen is just the right mix of enigmatic, sexy and scary, while the cameos from Robert Picardo, Ethan Phillips and Dwight Schultz are lovely. Threatening the birth of Star Trek itself, the scale of the story is epic and yet the relationships between the characters are visceral and emotional. Here's the trailer.
Woody Allen does musical and with largely untrained voices and reappropriated songs (notably 'Hooray For Captain Spaulding' in French), but also great visual gags and wonderful performances from Allen, Julia, Goldie Hawn, Alan Alda, Natasha Lyonne and Tim Roth. The Marx Brothers Christmas party and the revelation that right-wing opinion is a mental illness are very funny.
Paul McGann's solo television outing gave us an interesting hybrid between the Who-we-knew and a monsterless Sliders/The X Files style show which succeeded on many fronts. Sylvester McCoy bows out gracefully and McGann, Daphne Ashbrook and Yee Jee Tso are all wonderful in this attempt to take the good Doctor stateside with a TV movie that isn't as bad as its reputation.
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Homefront & Paradise Lost; Crossfire; Return To Grace; Bar Association; Accession; Rules Of Engagement; Hard Time; Shattered Mirror; For The Cause; To The Death; The Quickening; Body Parts; Broken Link; Apocalypse Rising; The Ship; ...Nor The Battle To The Strong; The Assignment; Trials And Tribble-ations; Things Past; The Ascent; Rapture
The fourth season continues with Earthbound two-parter Homefront and Paradise Lost and the change of scenery heightens the paranoia and makes the Patriot Act-esque selling-out-paradise-in-order-to-save-it sweeping security measures all the more terrifying. Brock Peters, Robert Foxworth and Eisenberg are fantastic Odo is caught in the Crossfire as Kira and Shakaar begin a relationship and it's good to see the constable a little out of control. Return To Grace is another great Kira and Dukat episode and one which sees him become a terrorist with great performances from Nana Visitor and Marc Alaimo. On the face of it, Bar Association simply puts the Ferengi spin on trade union relations and mines it for comic potential, but actually this episode still manages to make its point about exploitation. The caste-based discrimination at the heart of Accession varies from comical to terrifying and sees Sisko reassessing the mantle of Emissary. Ron Canada is fantastic in the courtroom drama, Rules Of Engagement and the fourth wall rattling testimonies are a very nice touch. O'Brien does Hard Time and the performances of cellmates Colm Meaney and Craig Wasson are fantastic. Shattered Mirror sees the Mirror Universe from Jake's point of view, mirror Garak is at his weaselly best, the space battle sequences are incredibly impressive and the final scene very touching. For The Cause is great and misleads the audience expertly and both Kenneth Marshall and Penny Johnson are wonderful. To The Death is action-packed, Jeffrey Combs makes a fantastic debut as Weyoun and the insights into the culture of the Jem'Hadar make them al the more intimidating. The guest cast and Alexander Siddig are uniformly excellent as Bashir is forced to learn humility the hard way in The Quickening. The dialogue between Quark and Rom is all brilliant as Body Parts tests the former in a new an unexpected way and the baby transplant subplot is an innovative solution. The season finale, Broken Link, is a great ensemble piece that deals with Odo's crimes against his people, his sentence is an intriguing prospect and the episode ends on a really great cliffhanger.
The fifth season begins with Apocalypse Rising which gets the Changeling infiltrator theme back on track, the scene discussing the finer points of Klingon etiquette is very funny and the reveal of the Founder is great. Sisko captures The Ship and there are casualties as he tries to keep it, but the tensions caused by the discussions of death as the life of F.J. Rio's Muñiz hangs in the balance are great. ...Nor The Battle To The Strong is Star Trek at its bleakest: life on the front line, self-inflicted wounds, the trench humour and the episode is made all the bleaker by shown through Jake's eyes. Alien possession can often be unconvincing, but The Assignment succeeds in being very creepy mostly due to brilliant performances from Meaney, Rosalind Chao and Max Grodénchik. Trials And Tribble-ations is a fantastic love letter to the original Star Trek. Things Past is another visit to Terok Nor and the scenes between Terry Farrell and Alaimo are wonderful, while Garak's affront and Quark's staff relations are very funny. Odo and Quark are forced to make The Ascent and it's a joy to watch them bring out the worst in each other like DS9's version of The Odd Couple…on the side a mountain. Sisko has visions of the future in a Rapture and is torn between his role as the Emissary and his Starfleet mission to bring Bajor into the Federation. He does something none of the other Captains would do. He fails…and the show is all the better for it.
Star Trek: Voyager: Prototype; Alliances; Threshold; Meld; Dreadnought; Death Wish; Lifesigns; Investigations; Deadlock; The Thaw; Tuvix; Resolutions; Basics; Flashback; The Swarm; False Profits; Remember; Future's End; The Q And The Grey; Macrocosm
The second season continues with hard SF episode Prototype which asks all the right ethical questions, features robots galore and a great performance from Roxann Biggs-Dawson. The Kazon storyline deepens as Janeway goes against her better judgement to form Alliances in an episode which sees her at odds with almost everyone at some stage and a brilliant reference to The Godfather, Part III. The much-maligned Threshold is actually a lot of fun. Tuvok undergoes a Meld with Suder, a murderous psychopath and Tim Russ and Brad Dourif are fantastic as both are affected by the personality of the other. Biggs-Dawson gets another opportunity to spend an episode talking to an artificial intelligence and herself in great tense cold war-esque thriller Dreadnought. Death Wish is very, very funny and very, very literate with the very thorny ethical dilemma of assisted suicide at its core, the arguments on both sides are very compelling and John De Lancie and Gerrit Graham are both fantastic as Q. The Doctor falls in love in the very touching Lifesigns and Robert Picardo gets to stretch the limits of his character. Ethan Phillips is great as Neelix turns journalist as the mutiny of Tom Paris comes to a head in Investigations and A Briefing With Neelix is a very funny device that allows it to unfold very effectively. Deadlock is like a great SF disaster movie as Voyager is duplicated and the two ships have very different fortunes. Michael McKean and Picardo are fantastic in The Thaw, a hilarious, surreal and terrifying episode built around a great SF concept. Tuvok and Neelix are merged into a single individual and Tom Wright is excellent as Tuvix, in an episode that is easily one of the best uses of SF to explore an ethical dilemma. Resolutions is a great ensemble piece that explores the relationship between Janeway and Chakotay, whilst Voyager must continue without them and the A and B stories come together nicely. The season finale is the first part of Basics sees the welcome return of Martha Hackett, Anthony DeLongis and Dourif, Chakotay's confusion about Seska's baby and his scene his father are wonderful, the Kazon attack that exploits Seska's knowledge of Janeway is very clever and the episode ends on a great cliffhanger.
The second part kicks off the third season and Picardo and Dourif are wonderful together aboard ship while the crew marooned on a hostile planet. Tuvok has a Flashback to the events of Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country in a very inventive alternative to time travel and it's great to see George Takei back as Captain Sulu. Voyager encounters intriguing aliens that are more alien than usual in The Swarm as the Doctor begins to lose his memory, Picardo plays two holograms and is as great as ever while Jennifer Lien gives a lovely assured performance. False Profits is a very funny Ferengi episode. Biggs-Dawson is fantastic as Torres Remembers someone else's memories of a holocaust and its subsequent cover up. The USS Voyager is transported back to Earth in 1996 in Future's End, Ed Begley, Jr. makes a great villain, Sarah Silverman works well with McNeill, Russ and Picardo and the two-parter is huge fun. Mulgrew, de Lancie and Suzie Plakson are fantastic in Q civil war tale The Q And The Grey which once again succeeds in being both literate and a lot of fun as well. Macrocosm is a change of pace and practically recasts Janeway as Ripley from the Alien films.
The final works of Dennis Potter are intriguing. Albert Finney, Roy Hudd, Liz Smith, Francis De La Tour, Henry Goodman and Diane Ladd are all wonderful in these two interlinked mini-series.
Fathers Ted, Dougal and Jack to go on a holiday from Hell in the second series opener: The Magic Road, Ted's run-ins with the law and Tom's button confusion are hilarious, while Graham Norton is fantastic as Father Noel Furlong. Father Ted thinks fast in Think Fast, Father Ted and highlights include Ted's panelbeating, the dancing priest, Mrs Doyle's test, "Please stand for our national anthem" and "Oh, it's yourself." Three bishops visit Craggy Island in Tentacles of Doom and it has a profound affect on all of them, "That would be an ecumenical matter", the elements of Christianity that Dougal struggles with and the concept of post-colonic holiness are all very, very funny, plus Gary Lineker's Book Of Ghost Stories is one of the funniest props ever made. Ted's explanation for The Old Grey Whistle Theft is fantastic as are "Fup off!", Father Damo's belligerence and Mrs Doyle's nocturnal exploits. After a fantastic songwriting scene, the shared obligatory video dream, the wonderful difference between Jon Kenny's on and off-camera performances, Ted and Dougal win the Song For Europe competition with the excellent 'My Lovely Horse'. From its Father Ben opening onwards, The Plague is great. and Jim Norton is fantastic. The use of sign language, Dermot Crowley and Ted's long shot and hilarious in Rock-a-Hula Ted. Ted, Jack and Dougal give up Cigarettes And Alcohol And Rollerblading respectively for Lent and their hallucinations and the Nun call centre are great. New Jack City sees Jack replaced with the Jungle music-obsessed Father Finton Stack, while the priest's sports day and visit to St. Clabbert's are very funny. Aeroplane disaster movie-esque Flight Into Terror is a great change of pace: the souvenirs, the Jeff Bridges movie reference and all the priests are fantastic.
The Christmas special, A Christmassy Ted is brilliant: Dougal's advent calendar, the priestly platoon in Ireland's largest lingerie section, priest chatback and Ted's award acceptance speech are all hilarious.
The cast are fantastic and the ambitious scope of the story is impressive as the nine episodes of this serial follow a group of characters from 1964 to 1995, through sex shops, anarchists, the miner's strike, Tory smear campaigns, the Great Storm of 1987, a stock market crash and the rise of Britpop. An amazing piece of television.
The short-lived horror TV series really gets into its stride and shakes up the show's dynamic with Merlyn's Rebirth and Sarah Paulson makes the most of the opportunity. Resurrector is another great example of Sheriff Lucas Buck's sense of justice as he sets a married couple against each other. Inhumanitas is another great one for Paulson, Pat Hingle is great and the resolution to Buck's real estate dealings will leave you cheering for the sheriff. Dr. Matt goes To Hell And Back in an episode that appears to show him hallucinating, but instead wrangles brilliantly with time travel and pre-destination paradoxes as he apparently causes the accident he is trying to avoid. A Royston Vasey-esque epidemic hits Trinity as Merlyn goes on the offensive again in The Plague Sower in an episode which drives Dr. Matt briefly mad and shamelessly introduces Dr. Billy as his replacement. Dr. Matt finally tips over the edge in Doctor Death Takes A Holiday, Veronica Cartwright is great and the reveal of the vaccination audience is very funny. Caleb's "so be it" toothbrushing ritual is bizarre, his definition of mentor is very funny and the resolution with the Boo Radley-esque Potato Boy is surprisingly touching. In an odd piece of scheduling two episodes shown on consecutive days both feature hostage situations gone bad, The Beast Within is another chance for Nick Searcy to shine as Deputy Ben, while Buck's belittling of half Ted is great in Learning To Crawl. Gail discovers she is pregnant with Buck's child and Trinity's love Triangles nearly turn fatal. American Gothic channels The Omen as Buck's death causes Caleb to go on the rampage in the two-part finale, The Buck Stops Here and Requiem, highlights include Buck's funeral, Ben trying to convince the town he can be sheriff, "Grandpa's sleeping on the ceiling" and the final showdown between Buck and Merlyn, although the ending leaves you wanting more. Three excellent episodes were omitted from the original US broadcast, but aired in the UK: Ring Of Fire has massive implications for Gail and Caleb's family and features a great performance from Paige Turco. The horrific Echo Of Your Last Goodbye as Merlyn appeals to Ben's conscience. Buck invokes the spirit of the Boston Strangler to kill Merlyn (again) and Gareth Williams is great in the part, plus it's nice to see Ben stepping up and being a such a good copper in Buck's absence.
The plays on the names of tube stations, the appreciation of the Tang dynasty and the disconnect between London-Above and London-Below among other things are all great in this six-part story by Neil Gaiman and Lenny Henry. The performances by Laura Fraser, Hywel Bennett, Clive Russell, Paterson Joseph, Tamsin Greig, Peter Capaldi and Earl Cameron are all brilliant.
An interesting mix of fact and fiction as Nigel Kneale contextualises the first three Quatermass serials with contemporary newsreel recordings from the fifties, while Andrew Keir reprises his role as the Professor now in his retirement in Scotland. As Quatermass looks back on his career with a young journalist audio from the BBC serials in used to illustrate the events of the television stories. The three interwoven strands threaten to be a little less than the sum of their parts, but work surprisingly well and the insight into both Kneale's original writings and the new perspective on the old stories are fascinating.
Jon Pertwee, Elisabeth Sladen and Nicholas Courtney are as great as ever in the parts they played on television. Guest stars Harry Towb and Stephen Thorne are brilliant, while Richard Pearce's Jeremy Fitzoliver is given much more to do here and rises to the challenge. The second Third Doctor radio play is a strange beast set across several time periods and realities. Bravely encompassing much of the variety that makes Doctor Who brilliant within one story, and with some surprising profanity thrown in as well.
The debut album from E's band is brilliant. Their distinctive sound has already taken shape here and perfectly illustrated by the moment a whirring drill gives way to some truly beautiful piano. The lyrics strike the right balance between wry observation and outright despair: "When I came into this world they slapped me. And everyday since then I'm slapped again."
Stand out tracks: 'Novocaine For The Soul', 'Susan's House', 'Rags To Rags', 'Beautiful Freak', 'Not Ready Yet', 'My Beloved Monster', 'Flower', 'Guest List', 'Mental', 'Spunky', 'Your Lucky Day In Hell', 'Manchild'
Kula Shaker's first album unashamedly references their heroes whether it's The Beatles at the height of their Sixties psychedelia, the influence of Jimi Hendrix on '303', that of the Grateful Dead on the almost eponymous 'Grateful When You're Dead/Jerry Was There', while 'Govinda' and 'Tattva' both feature lyrics in Sanskrit. The band draw these disparate threads together to create a sound of their own.
Stand out tracks: 'Hey Dude', 'Govinda', 'Smart Dogs', 'Magic Theatre', 'Into The Deep', 'Tattva', 'Grateful When You're Dead/Jerry Was There', '303', 'Start All Over', 'Hollow Man, Part 1 & 2'
When Grant Naylor went their separate ways they each wrote novels set after the events of their second novel together. Described pretty accurately by Grant as "the world's first reverse whodunit space opera western dealing definitively with the concept of post-destination". While it revisits elements of the episodes Backwards, Dimension Jump and Gunmen Of The Apocalypse the fourth Red Dwarf novel is far more than a mere novelisation and is much darker than its predecessors.
The nineteenth Discworld novel pits the City Watch of Ankh Morpork against an army of Golems. The novel asks questions of free will and slavery, but is still very, very funny, and gives the Disc's Grim Reaper the fantastic line: "I AM DEATH, NOT TAXES. I TURN UP ONLY ONCE."
The Discworld's equivalent of Christmas is nearly cancelled in the twentieth novel as the Hogfather goes AWOL and Death steps into the breach. Pratchett expertly dissects Christmas traditions and their motivations with very funny results.
The first three parts of Endgame, the Eighth Doctor's first comic strip in DWM, see him returning to Stockbridge, home of strips gone by, reunited with Maxwell Edison and faced with the Celestial Toymaker. All of which are well handled and cement him into the comic. It's obvious that Izzy is brilliant companion material and each of the cliffhangers is impressive, but it's the game of hangman sequence that is most terrifying.
The seventh chapter of Daniel Clowes' comic sees Enid and Rebecca take a trip down memory lane, argue and Josh comes between them and it takes this song to end the deadlock. The artwork is great, particularly of Enid's photographs and the panels set at night.
Recommendations welcome. Next Month: 1995